Keeping female conversation in check.

When going out in groups always make sure that you have a ration of 2/3 guys and 1/3 girls.  This way the girls won't be able to talk about their feelings as a majority of the group and you can keep the conversation in check.

Being energy efficient

When presented with the option of walking somewhere, make sure you do as much of the walking on higher floors as possible.   If you are already on a higher floor it requires less energy to walk because you are further away from the earth's center of gravity and therefore it takes less effort.

Increased Long Term Gaming Lifespan and Comfort

Use your mouse with your left hand at work during the day, and with your right hand at night while you're gaming. This way you can load balance and even the load. You can avoid early onset repetitive stress syndrome and increase both the time you are able to play games as well as the long term comfort in your gaming world.

Working out tips

You should stop working out.  Exercise makes you have to eat more.  Eating more takes away time from gaming.  Thus, less exercise = less eating = more gaming time.

Parental life hack #1

What you do is give up your kid for adoption at birth.  This way you avoid all the messy and crying years.  Then, you re-adopt your child back at age 15 when someone else has already done the bulk of the real parenting for you.

Setting up for improvement

What you do is set the bar really really low the first week by having some major screw up at work (either accidentally or on purpose).  If you do it on purpose it should probably look like an accident.  Then everything you do after the fact will look like a drastic improvement compared to your little snafu.

Getting !@#$ed

You should try to get !@#$ed every day!  It relieves stress and makes everything more awesome.

Bathroom Tips #2

Make sure you go number 2 at work.  Where else can you get paid to poop!?  Also, the TP is free at work.

No breaks from gaming required

While playing games (xbox, ps3, wii, PC, etc.), eat your chips using chopsticks.  Using this method you can continue gaming without having take a break to wash your hands.  No game breaks required.

Getting away from children

If you don't want to live near any kids, all you have to do is move to a community for pedo-bears.  Problem solved.  No more obnoxious children.

Bathroom Tips #1

When going to the bathroom in the middle of the night remember to close one eye while urinating.  This way when you turn off the light after leaving the bathroom you will still be able to see in the dark.  Pirates and their eye patches have just been bested.

Introduction

Here is a compiled list of life hacks to make your everyday life more efficient and awesome.

I will try to update these every Monday until there is sufficient backlog to update more frequently.  In the meantime, I need everyone who knows the source to tell me when the life hacks pop up in conversation.