Avoiding working vacations

If you are expected to be working on vacation.  All you have to do is pack your company phone into a backpack and "accidentally" fall into a stream, pool, ocean, etc.  The phone won't bother you for the rest of your vacation, and you can enjoy your time off.

Travel and Opportunity Cost

You should take the train instead of driving when you’re traveling for work. Even though you get money back from expensing mileage, you’re losing money from fixing your car. Plus, when else is it so appropriate for you to get paid for playing games.

Exploiting people who believe

This one goes out to you Harold Camping.  First establish a religious group that is losely affiliated with one of the major religions.  Second convince all the people in said group that the world is going to end in the relatively near future (5-7 years).  Third establish multiple local businesses that would profit from people attempting to warn others of impending doom: radio stations to sell air time, billboards to rent, car detail shops for doomsday custom paint jobs, etc.  Fourth convince all the people in the religious group that they should spend all their money preparing to warn others they will subsequently vacate all of their bank accounts and support all of your businesses.  Wait a year or two after the supposed doomsday has occured and admit you made a grave calculation error and that doomsday is actually 5-7 years later than you initially said, repeat.

Less work more games

To optimize the amount of work you do, you should hire a personal intern for a very cheap hourly wage.  Have this person perform all of your remedial tasks like expense reports, formatting design documentation based on your meeting notes, etc.  While they are doing this you can be playing games and still getting paid because of the difference in their hourly wage and your hourly wage.  You can then take the minimal time to check their taskwork before submitting it and still get all the credit for their work.

Saving money on sunscreen

When going outside in the summer for sustained durations, don't put on sunscreen. Instead, just cover yourself with more clothes, that way you save money by not having to buy sunscreen, plus you'll sweat more to help you lose that extra weight you've been dying to get rid of so you can look good in a bathing suit.  You will only be wearing that exposing bathing suit to indoor pools of course.

Signing Cards

When you’re signing a card for a birthday or anniversary or graduation or whatever, use a quote from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. The knowledge imparted in this book is applicable to all parts of life, and definitely isn't off topic if you are signing a thank you card.