Monday, January 30, 2012

Forcing acceptance of new policies

Introduce a new set of policies that will make the public generally unhappy. Continue to offer the old policy, but make sure you deliver the old policy at an unreasonably slow rate. People will get frustrated.waiting and just accept the new policies out of frustration.

This post brought to you by the TSA. Well played holding an all hands meeting for the staff in charge of opt outs this morning. What you forgot is that business travelers don't care if they miss their flights when it is the travel organizations fault.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Starting a gym

Open a gym that guarantees weight loss after every session. Crank the heat up to 90. Have everyone weigh in before their workout. Require a minimum of an hour. Then have people weigh in after their workout. The water weight lost over the hour just by being in the heat will hit your guarantee.  All you have to do is make sure you have scales that are accurate to tenths of pounds.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Support

Design a Server product, then make simple things like clearing memory or turning on and off too complex to do through an interface.  Turn them into multiple step scripts so that people have to buy your support contracts.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Guaranteed legacy support

Develop an application that has a legacy support or compatibility layer. Release many versions of code that still rely on that layer (but don't tell anyone), then you never have to worry about actually upgrading anything.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Banking strategies

As a bank you should set up savings account type that has a high yield interest rate.  Then after a few months reduce the rate to almost nothing.  Then tell your customers that if they make multiple purchases using their check card they can get an increased interest rate.  Make sure that you only raise the interest rate enough that all it takes is one overdraft charge to cover their interest for multiple years.  The customer will think you are helping them out while you are really making more money off of them.