Less work more games

To optimize the amount of work you do, you should hire a personal intern for a very cheap hourly wage.  Have this person perform all of your remedial tasks like expense reports, formatting design documentation based on your meeting notes, etc.  While they are doing this you can be playing games and still getting paid because of the difference in their hourly wage and your hourly wage.  You can then take the minimal time to check their taskwork before submitting it and still get all the credit for their work.

Saving money on sunscreen

When going outside in the summer for sustained durations, don't put on sunscreen. Instead, just cover yourself with more clothes, that way you save money by not having to buy sunscreen, plus you'll sweat more to help you lose that extra weight you've been dying to get rid of so you can look good in a bathing suit.  You will only be wearing that exposing bathing suit to indoor pools of course.

Signing Cards

When you’re signing a card for a birthday or anniversary or graduation or whatever, use a quote from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War. The knowledge imparted in this book is applicable to all parts of life, and definitely isn't off topic if you are signing a thank you card.

Avoiding future meetings

To avoid a future meeting, just tell everyone that you approve of what they are doing as long as they fix whatever should be fixed in the future.  Everyone doing the work will say they have your approval, and then if they screw it up you can blame them because you told them to fix whatever needed to be fixed.

Experience

Getting cold sores is not a bad thing; the opposite sex will see that you probably have lots of relations, and are therefore experienced.

The Best Way to Shut Down a Company

If there is a company you truly don't like either because they do evil things or are a major competitor of yours then use this strategy to bring them down.  First acquire a job at said company.  Start regularly bringing in tasty snacks and setting them on the lunch/breakroom table.  Then once it has been established that there is a trusty food source in the office, insert lots of exlax (or other more potent ingredients) into your treats.  This will stop all operations in this place for a day or more depending on what special ingredient you use.

Better drinks for a cheaper price

If you are forced to buy a drink at a bar because you didn't use the open bar pre game trick, the use this strategy:

Stand awkwardly next to the bar waiting for someone to order a drink and leave a really good tip in cash.  Then inject yourself as the next order in line, the bar tender will be in a good mood and pour you a stronger drink because of the tip the last person left.  This way you can tip your normal amounts and still get the drinks of a high tipping high roller.