Guaranteed legacy support

Develop an application that has a legacy support or compatibility layer. Release many versions of code that still rely on that layer (but don't tell anyone), then you never have to worry about actually upgrading anything.

Banking strategies

As a bank you should set up savings account type that has a high yield interest rate.  Then after a few months reduce the rate to almost nothing.  Then tell your customers that if they make multiple purchases using their check card they can get an increased interest rate.  Make sure that you only raise the interest rate enough that all it takes is one overdraft charge to cover their interest for multiple years.  The customer will think you are helping them out while you are really making more money off of them.

Bad christmas gifts

If you are going somewhere that is notorious for bad christmas gifts, be sure to fly. Then bring only a small carry on bag and inform everyone ahead of time that you won't have any space to bring things home. No more terrible christmas sweaters from grandma.

Super Soakers

Buy real guns instead of super soakers.  You don't have to pump (most) real guns.  Plus people don't shoot back when you use a real gun.

Start up

Start a company that is a non profit that people would contribute money towards. Then issue refund checks that are mailed in envelopes that look like spam. Most people will tear up or throw away their checks and you will have a nice profit to pay your employees i.e. yourself.

Sign at the dotted line

Start a business that requires a release waiver.  Put all the important information in really small print so that it looks like the dotted line at the bottom of the page.  You can get them to sign over anything you want.

Shifting blame

Tell someone you will be available for meetings to set up a project. Then on the morning of the meeting tell them you are out of the office until the day before the deadline. This way you know the project will miss the deadline and you can absolve yourself of responsibility because you were out of the office.