Supporting new investments

Pick a company that develops mediocre software and become an initial investor.  Then declare that this new software is the corporate standard at your existing company.  Once everyone at your company is using this software, switch companies to a new company and declare it as the corporate standard at your new company.  Repeat until your initial investment has turned into a handsome profit.  Don't worry, after a couple of years no one will remember that it was your fault they have to use some crummy software.

Life Hacking

When trying to come up with new life hacks just steal someone else's idea and pass it off as your own.  All you have to do is rephrase it slightly and everyone will think that you are original and have great ideas.  A little plagiarism saves you time that can be properly allocated elsewhere (gaming obviously).

Job Offers and Sports

Special edition today for the USA women's world cup futbol (or soccer for those in the USA) team.  Go USA Ladies!

When considering two or more similar job offers, consider the intagible qualities of sports fans.  You should take the offer where the new supervisor(s) are sports fans of all the different sports that you like to watch.  In doing this, your boss will encourage you to watch those sporting events that occur during the work day when there are time zone differences (World Cup, Olympics, NCAA Basketball tournament, etc.).  Plus, then you also have something to talk about with your boss and the potential of getting free or discounted tickets from them.

This song is for you France (censored of course so that I don't violate license agreements of the blog)
If I had the wings of eagle...
If I had the bum of a crow...
I would fly over France and poop on those basterds below...
POOOP ON POOOP ON POOOP ON THOSE BASTERDS BELOOOW!
POOOP ON POOOP ON POOOP ON THOSE BASTERDS BELOOOW!

Softening a deadline

Always be sure to ask your client a lot of very detailed questions at the beginning of the project.  Most likely they won't be able to supply you with all the answers.  Then when your deadline is encroaching for whatever reason you can inform them that you are still waiting on the answers to your questions.  The client will understand that the deadline needs to be moved and won't be upset because they will realize that the responsibility falls on them for not supplying you with enough information.

Grocery stores

You should line up all your items with the bar codes facing forward. This makes checking out faster even if the store clerk is terrible. You can save many minutes of frustration.  You will also be able to get back to your gaming faster; don't forget to use your chopsticks with those chips.